I... am... Batman!!

Ok, Ok, I am not Batman... I'm in love with Batman. Always have been. This is a nerdy little rant here, so prepared to be greatly amazed or possibly greatly disturbed.
This rant is brought on by the release of Superman Returns and also though the final reveal of the new title of the new BATMAN BEGINS SEQUEL. It will be called "The Dark Knight". Brilliant. And also big news, Chrisitian Bale is of course reprising his role as bruce wayne/batman, but he will be facing his nemisis The Joker in te form of Heath Ledger. Holla!! So here it is, the rant on why Batman is awesome and everyone else sucks.
Spiderman is a wussy nerd who got bit by a magic spider. Superman isn't even human (that's cheating) and he's solar powered. Don't even get me started on WonderWoman (they're fake) or The Punisher (he's dead, technically undead, so where's the risk?). I appreciate the effort behind the Flash (ok, so he's fast, big deal) and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (pizza, anyone?), I really do, but frankly they don't hold a candle to the dark knight.
I mean Bruce Wayne is a classy, fun loving multi-billionaire by day -- caped crusader for justice by night. Classic. You gotta love this whole secret identity thing. Superman doesn't count because Clark Kent is the one wearing the disguise, and the disguise is a pair of glasses. tsk tsk. Geez, you worry about what kind of brainiacs live in metroplis. Batman is human and he kicks as much ass as the 'super' alien. He's just really strong and athletic. And the Bat accessories are just better than anything Superman has. I mean, sure he has the fortress of solitude (oh, he's lonely :( what a whiner). Batman has the Batmobile, the Batcave, that excellent utility belt, not to mention Alfred... and Robin (wink wink). He's just better.
You're thinking now, here's the part where Linnea whines and complains about the actors they picked to portray this perfect specimen of manliness. And you'd be right. Michael Keaton, meh, I give him props just because he got really into it and he gets you to believe he believes he is batman. But then the casting directors had some issues. Val Kilmer. Ok, I see where they thought he'd be ok. He is a broody kind of guy, the perfect batman, except batman is also bruce wayne and here is where Val fumbles. He's a little bit too serious for me. OK, so that brings us to ... wince... george clooney. Ok, personal feelings for this "actor" aside, he was an ok bruce wayne. But he is a horrbile batman, the man can't brood. It just isn't in him. So then, it falls to UK-born Christian Bale to bear the cape. And he does so surprisingly well. I really liked his lispy, coquetteish bruce in contrast with scary, angry batman. Loved it.
OK, there it is, my rant on batman.